Roster

Because the guiding principle of Ultimate Sports Trip is “intensity”, it’s not the kind of thing your average degenerate will find himself qualified for. You need to be a special kind of degenerate. The sort of degenerate who can play 18 holes in the morning, put back 4 pounds of BBQ for lunch, sit shoulder to shoulder with 80,000 belligerent, sweating drunkards for some football in the afternoon, drive for 3 hours, then play 4 hours of blackjack into the wee morning hours (and win!)…..then do it all again the next day.

The Roster

Fred S.

aka Baltimore Fred

Baltimore Fred is the degenerate gambler of the group. He has some sort of action going every day of his life. This makes him cool. Nothing deters him – not even going 0 for 14 on his first day of March Madness bets on UST 3.1. He’s been soaked to the bone by beer throwing Philly fans. He’s participated in conference calls while playing the first hole at Pebble Beach. He keeps detailed spreadsheets of every bet he’s ever made. And he once participated in Ultimate Sports Trip and didn’t tell his boss that he’d be out of the office for a few days. Fred S is a die hard. Fred S is hardcore. This is why he is on the roster for Ultimate Sports Trip. He also has the world’s most hideous golf swing.

Favourite 80's Wreslter

Koko B. Ware

Greatest Athletic Achievement

Equaling Mike McD’s epic 64 hour poker session from Rounders

Best Video Game of All Time

Q*bert

Favourite Action Movie

Robocop (“Dead or alive, you’re coming with me”)

Brands

Brands is pissed! Well, maybe not pissed , but he’s certainly not happy about his bio photo. He looks like some kind of corporate farmer. Brands claims to be easy going, but he can be a silent shit disturber. He once made derogatory comments about some blue hair on an adjacent deck on the 18th fairway at Pebble Beach. That blue hair was pissed. He enjoys goading Fred S into additional horrid bets to extend a losing streak and coaxing a meltdown out of Truba immediately after 5 swings in the same sand trap. Brands claims to know the reversal for every wrestling move, which may be true because his favourite book is Bret “The Hitman” Hart’s autobiography. That alone qualifies him for the roster of Ultimate Sports Trip. Yeah, he’s easy going. Brands brings balance. Brands is Even Steven.

Favourite 80's Wreslter

Bret “The Hitman” Hart

Greatest Athletic Achievement

Back up half back on the 1993 high school city championship rugby team

Best Video Game of All Time

Brick Breaker

Favourite Action Movie

Die Hard

Red

Red is full service, yet still manages to produce one organizational violation for the group per UST. He does this on purpose to get back at the group for pointing out that he sports a vague resemblance to some patricidal maniac (actual and quality mug shot at left) from the 1990’s. While Truba created Ultimate Sports Trip, Red took it to the next level. He sometimes pushes the limits a little too far when attempting to make the trips as intense as possible; like the time he considered chartering a helicopter to make two Thanksgiving Day football games fit into the schedule. Red holds numerous get out of jail free cards with the rest of the members of UST for narrowly stopping them all from walking into an armed robbery at a McDonalds in DC. While it would have made for a great story to be involved in a real life recreation of Ice Cube’s “What Can I Do?” video, Red wussed out and forced the group to run far and fast. Ta Dow, how ya like me now!

Favourite 80's Wreslter

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat

Greatest Athletic Achievement

That goal I scored in floor hockey last week!

Best Video Game of All Time

Galaga

Favourite Action Movie

Ghosts of Mars (“RAAAARRRGGGGHHHH”)

Truba

Truba is lazy. While its true that he was the genius behind the concept of Ultimate Sports Trip, he does nothing in the planning/organization stages – although he does do most of the driving, so that’s cool. He’s also the hot head of the group. He has the proud distinction of being the only member of Ultimate Sports Trip to have had a Krakatoa sized meltdown on the other members of the group. He’ll also shout down a cop if he thinks he’s on the receiving end of a rights violation. I’ve seen it. And it’s awesome. Some think he’s oblivious (look at that blank stare, folks) because he once walked right past a girl who told him he was cute, without even acknowledging her, after the Mets game on UST 1.0 (not even a thank you!), or because he didn’t see the guys standing outside the McDonald’s in DC casing the joint just as we were about to walk into an armed robbery. This is all true, but he has an appreciation for the purity of Ultimate Sports Trip. He can also pack back a tonne of BBQ.

Favourite 80's Wreslter

“The Macho Man” Randy Savage

Greatest Athletic Achievement

Going toe to toe on mic skills with Black Bart from CanAm Wrestling and earning the nickname “Suzie”

Best Video Game of All Time

Slap Fight

Favourite Action Movie

Predator (“I ain’t got time to bleed!”)